Shel Silverstein

Here are some of my favorite funny poems by the fantastic poet Shel Silverstein.

 

“Stupid Pencil Maker”

Some dummy built this pencil wrong —
The eraser’s down here where the point belongs.
And the point’s at the top — so it’s no good to me.
It’s amazing how stupid some people can be.

“Noise Day”

Let’s have one day for girls and boyses
When you can make the grandest noises.
Screech, scream, holler, and yell —
Buzz a buzzer, clang a bell,
Sneeze — hiccup — whistle — shout,
Laugh until your lungs wear out,
Toot a whistle, kick a can,
Bang a spoon against a pan,
Sing, yodel, bellow, hum,
Blow a horn, beat a drum,
Rattle a window, slam a door,
Scape a rake across the floor,
Use a drill, drive a nail,
Turn the hose on the garbage pail,
Shout Yahoo — Hurrah — Hooray,
Turn up the music all the way,
Try and bounce your bowling ball,
Ride a skateboard up the wall,
Chomp your food with a smack and a slurp,
Chew — chomp — hiccup — burp,
One day a year do all of these,
The rest of the days — be quiet please!

“Snowball”

I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first — it wet the bed.

“Falling Up”

I tripped on my shoelace
And I fell up —
Up to the roof tops,
Up over the town,
Up past the tree tops,
Up over the mountains,
Up where the colors
Blend into the sounds.
When I looked around,
I got sick to my stomach
And I threw down.

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